So early on, I ha a brother. He wasn’t like any other human brother because he barked, howled, whined, and pooped in the yard. his name was pudgy. I am trying desperately to find a picture of him and I but I haven’t been able to since y move back home to NJ. Pudgy was the best brother ever. He didn’t condemn, he didn’t blame, he only loved me. However, he sucked as a scape goat.

One day I was playing with my doilies. I was playing diving. They were doing back flips and one and a half. Yes I knew what a one and a half was because I grew up at the Montclair Beach club. Well, I was playing to close to my mom’s Lenox candy dish. Well as you can imagine, it was done for. Yup, I broke it. So she came up asked me who did it and guess who I blamed? That is correct I blamed the dog? Who else could I blame? At that point my mom had her first of two miscarriages (a baby brother I had asked for by the way – now you can imagine her grief. I didn’t until I well got it and had my miscarriages! She had actually wanted another one of me – oh God bless her because I was a handful!)

Mom (aka Anita – aka Anita another drink!) didn’t unleash the Sicilian demon. She gently explained that since pudgy had been with her, it was not possible for him to have broken the dish. She gently explained that if I lied that I would receive the beating of a life time (this was the seventies folks, people were allowed to beat their kids – lol – and sometimes I think they still should be!!!). If I didn’t she would assume it was an accident which happens and would forgive me. Lesson learned, immediately and forever. To this day… I CAN NOT LIE TO MY MOM! IT IS NOT POSSIBLE!!!! I AM ALMOST 46 and still fear a Sicilian beating. LMAO! But it is has carried me thru this day as an only. We don’t lie there is no one to blame. We try but we do not know how. What our eyes, look at them, we become sheepish unsure. There is an immediate respose to the try! My friends and ex will tell you, I cannot lie. I don’t know how. I am not sure if that is good, bad, indifferent, but now that I get that, I get how to speak to people because of it. It has taught me the art of telling the truth and helping people see that it isn’t a bad thing to be honest!