Let’s continue the theme. Yesterday I said I digress, but here is the truth. I am TERRIFIED! Terrified of being alone. Who do I have in my corner when things go tipsy turvy when my parents are gone. I have only me.

Now before you blame them, they tried two more times. And my mom wishes I had someone. She knows I have my girl and my best friends, but she also knows that isn’t always enough. She hates it for me. So don’t pass judgement on them, because I don’t and I also know what it’s like to go through a miscarriage. 

But dad is sick, I am all mom has. She is all I have. Yes I have a wonderful man in my life and he makes sure that my emotional needs are cared for. But it is still scary. How do I manage taking care of both of them. They did their job with me and I believe in elder care. They never failed me, will I fail them? And then what happens when both of them are gone???? 

They had my back always. They believed in me always. Who do I have t believe in me? But when you are an only child, these are the things you think about when you get to my age. And sometimes at the age of four you are faced with it also, when your mom is given a stage four cancer diagnosis. So I guess I am lucky. I didn’t have to start thinking about it until now. But one thing is for sure, my pseudo pink only child niece will never walk alone. Which means, neither will I!