They say if you can be content when you are alone you are never truly alone. Thoughts? As an only child, you learn independence at an early age. Not because you are forced by your parents but merely for the reason, they cannot speak to you 24/7. So you learn to entertain yourself. You learn that reading can be your solace, or even a tea party with your dolls and your stuffed animals. There is no one else to play with when everyone goes in for the night after play time is over. And while there are perks, no one to scream at and get mad at, there are still lonely times.
I often hoped for a sibling. Someone that I could talk to. My friends were envious of me because they thought that I got everything and because my parents doted on me. Again, there are upsides and down sides. I digress because I really don’t want to discuss that right now.
What I do want to discuss is the fact that we are so used to it, sometimes we need it. Yes we are very social. We are often chatty, at least I have found that. Well that is unless one of our parents talk more then us, then we can be really quiet until we are with the parent that will let us babble. We are social because when we are alone we long for the times that we are with people. We aren’t selfish with our time until we realize we haven’t had me time. At least I have found this to be true. Remember I am not a psychologist, just an only child.
But then there are those times where we can just retreat. Why? No we aren’t sad, angry, are moody, we are just used to being alone doing what we used to do to entertain ourselves. I was a reader, now I write! I also sang, so I listen to music. I go out and take photographs. I am learning Italian. And sometimes I am in a crowded room and i am just taking it all in. Because I like to do that. My friends would say “Oh she is quiet again, she must be upset!” Or, “your quiet again, what did we do now?” Even after i explained, I just need me time. I am just being quiet. The hounding became so annoying, well guess what, I would get mad. And I am Italian Sicilian so you really don’t want that.
So next time your only child friend is quiet, don’t assume that they are sad or angry. Say, hey is anything up? If they smile with their eyes and say no, I am just being quiet, say to them… Oh I get it you just need me time. Cool. Let me know when you want to join back in on the fun. I will tell you they will join in sooner rather then later, because we really don’t like being alone.