Sorry mommy, I know you like to use the word indulged but maybe a little egotistical and a little spoiled!

I recently sought help from an acquaintance. I became needy and ignored that person’s needs. During our interactions, they stated, “Sorry, I haven’t responded; it’s been hand to mouth!” I didn’t get what they meant. It’s never been hand to mouth, I think?! (Read on, it has been! Who knew?)

It turns out that I have been living hand to mouth for the past four years, even needing someone to rescue me when my credit card was stolen. (I still owe that person, and I will make good on that!) But the fact is I completely ignored that person because of my ignorance. I put my own needs first.

It doesn’t make me a bad person. I was used to being strapped for cash, regardless of what I had previously, it didn’t register. Do I owe that person amends, possibly? I will work that through that separately. That isn’t what this post is about, so I will continue.

Then why this post, well, turns out not having to worry about anything, or better yet, the rents hiding the times we were possibly struggling, didn’t necessarily prepare me for the times that would be lean. Maybe it would have been good for me to understand those times a little more, to be more appreciative back (My mother is rolling her eyes, and so are some of my friends, they think I am a perfect person. Blessed!)

They gave me everything they could afford to give me. That was always stressed. I also didn’t just get anything I wanted. The only time that happened was when my Aunt would provide me with something my mother said no to give me. But they did say no.

They both made me aware that I was able to get more because I was the only one. I used to pray for a sibling. There is a lot of pressure being the only! Yet another post!

I also started working at the age of 14 as a babysitter, and at 15 at the Beach Club. Resultantly, my father taught me to save. I was only allowed to keep a portion of the money I made, the rest to savings.

It is how I had money in college and how I was also able to put a down payment on my first jeep. I would continue to save that way. It was drilled into me.

So when the walls came tumbling in, it did humble me. I did figure out what it was like not to have and the need “live hand to mouth.” So maybe, just maybe a little spoiled.

I am not saying I was rotten. However, I was not as appreciative of others’ needs even though I had also been raised to be a giving and loving child. But now, when I can give, there is much more meaning to those things or times.

I am also not saying that this is solely the pitfalls of being an only child. All of us could lose sight of this. But for only, when the world revolves around you, and then it no longer does… well, it sort of sucks. (This last line makes even me chuckle!! I’m am inherently aware of my current situation and the egotism in that previous statement. Because I now value other things such as a sunset or a walk in the park with a friend.)

Again, I didn’t get everything my little heart desired. However, maybe I wasn’t humble in my acceptance of what I had, and what others did not. Once again, my mom and friends would disagree.

Regardless of what they think, I do know one thing. That is the fact that I didn’t understand my acquaintance’s plight, and I was incredibly insensitive to it. And that comes with a great deal of humility.

So, sorry, mom, a little spoiled! And parents of onlies… not everyone is like me! Why share this? I don’t know? It is to possibly help you look for signs of a lack of humility without embarrassing your child. And to allow you to know that for me, I would have like to understand those times a little better. It’s okay to share it with us. As children, we are far more resilient than when we are adults!